Housework

Someone said that if your house is messy it is because you are lazy. I'd like to pose another opinion and ask how you feel about the subject.

I know a lot of people who live in neat, tidy, clean homes. My observation is that they industriously clean on a regular basis and this cleaning pattern is habitual and learned from childhood on.

I think clean houses often reflect upbringing. You were raised by a mom who took care to keep her home clean, tidy, and organized. She could throw things out. You learned to keep a tidy house because you were assigned chores. From as early as you could do chores you put your toys away, made your bed, helped with the dishes, dusted, swept floor, etc. As you got older chores were added according to your ability. You learned to throw things out. Your room looked uncluttered because you had been taught well.

I am aware that there are those superb housekeepers who tried hard to please a parent who was never going to hand out praise anyway. You determined to be a perfect housekeeper in order to please, but that reward never came. However, you still keep a tidy home.

I'd love to hear about other scenarios about how you came to be a tidy housekeeper.

Consider another view... Mom just 'got by' in keeping house. I was 'allowed' to sweep, dust, strictly on a voluntary basis. I learned to iron little uncomplicated things when I was little (hankies); I graduated to more complicated things more or less as my ironing confidence grew. I learned to wash clothes by spending time with Mom when she washed. Sometimes she'd 'let' me help -- after she had shown how things were done. That was a wringer washer and there were certain ways you had to put clothes through so that you didn't ruin them. Zippers had to be zipped (I still zip zippers, just because). etc. etc. I did learn to wash clothes. However, laundry was never done once a week, so that, too, I 'learned'.

Washing dishes was the same way. Volunteer labor. Mom went through a period of years when she was extremely depressed. Dishes tended to pile up. No one was assigned the chore to do them. She often didn't until she was feeling up to it. She 'let' me wash dishes as she stacked, and cleaned counters, the stovetop, etc. Then she'd leave the kitchen. And she always wondered why her little girl never quite got through the pots and pans. I learned my behavior from hers. Can't deal with it? Walk away.

Cleaning house was the same deal. The dining room table always got the stuff that was put down to take care of later so it was often cluttered. Us kids knew she didn't like it there for company. When the cry rang through the house, "Uncle Ed's here!" the table got cleaned right now. How? It got raked off and thrown in the hall closet. I have no idea who cleaned up that mess later. I now live in a house where three people put things down to take care of later. Clutter? Definitely. Clutter-makers? All.

Then there's the thinking behind the clutter. Well, so and so gave that to me. This is a reminder of that great activity I went to. I might be able to use this... I don't know where it goes. Get the picture. What's your excuse for clutter?

My biggest problem is clutter. Generally it's clean underneath. Dustbunnies do form on occasion under beds, the couch, long untouched items. The reason I know they were there is because I've swept under them often enough to know.

So how do YOU manage throwing things out?
How do you manage finding a place for everything?
In what sort of things do you place value?

I remember a woman saying once a derogatory remark about this woman she had gone to visit who was mopping the floor and the visit interrupted that task. When she returned two weeks later the bucket and mop were still sitting there. She was appalled at the woman's laziness. All I could wonder was, 'how come the poor woman was so depressed?'

In defense, I say that just because my house doesn't invite company and therefore I balk at having company (outside of immediate family -- they are all messies anyway) -- this does not make me lazy. It makes me depressed. Without a clue how to 'file' things. No idea where such-and-such an item belongs. An innate inability to throw things out. Overwhelmed at the prospect of fixing what it has taken years to create. A lifetime of bad habits and poor examples.

I have to give myself this much credit -- I have taken seriously recent challenges to de-clutter. I tackle ONE area (I am little able to deal with a whole room right now) and make it clean. I'm donating some (it's becoming bags and boxes) to those friendly souls who call and put you on their pickup list. Some I am sure church folks would like to have. Some is in boxes for that ubiquitous garage sale. Sorry I am selling my books. White paper gets shredded and added to our compost pile. That offsets all the grass clippings. And it saves wondering where the name and address panels will end up. On the paper issue -- I think it clones itself while I sleep. No matter how much I shred, there is always a new pile tomorrow.

Seriously, those of you who are good at housekeeping -- share so I can learn from you.