Impact of non-Fellowshipping at Church

I have been struggling with going to Church. I simply don't want to go. People there don't understand this new attitude of mine.

It's the people that are keeping me away. I go and no one speaks to me -- at least not more than 'hello' in passing. I can't think of anyone who wants to stop and talk -- to me. I see others talking about things other than church topics. I feel so unwanted and as if I do not belong.

Several years ago, we visited a ward in Arizona. The place was packed and yet even as we stood near the door, not one person so much as said hello. Finally we spoke to someone who led us up front to talk with the Stake President. Turns out that today was Stake Conference and apparently everyone thought we were from some other ward than their own. It was an object lesson beyond compare.

When we got home, I began to speak to people I did not recognize; find out their name, where they were from, had they moved here, or just visiting. So many of these fine people seemed so grateful that someone had gone out of their comfort zone to say hello.

When the boundaries of our ward were changed, I again went out of my comfort zone to learn everybody's name. Some people were impressed that I cared enough to learn. I've gone out of my way for the 'strangers in our midst.'

I'm not a stranger. But I am ignored.

Recently I went way out of my comfort zone to help my daughter pack and clean her apartment. It was a five-day project. I was tired long before we were through. What I learned was that my participation made an impression on HER. She said, "You're awesome, Mom. I couldn't have done this without you. You kept me going even when I wanted to quit."

Two more opportunities came along. What I've learned is a simple truth that I don't believe I quite understood before: When you loose yourself in service, you find yourself, and you draw closer to your Father in Heaven -- especially to those you serve -- you make a friend.

Talking here helps even though no one has discovered this blog yet. I'm too shy to tell people where to find it.

Exploring blogs of others I know at Church has helped me better understand them. This has helped me to talk with some of them. I discovered that people like to be noticed and are glad to chat. Even though I haven't been to Church in five weeks now, I haven't missed activities and opportunities to help. In exchanging e-mails, I've discovered it is an easier way to 'talk' with others.

What would be your response? ...Get a life, girl! ...You have to reach out. ...You have to be a friend to have one. ...I know what you mean. ...What?